Determined to wear 'that' dress on Christmas day

13 Nov, 2014

I started my latest journey just days ago on Monday 10th November after stopping and starting all year. The amount of times I have changed the settings for the starting day of the week because I feel I have failed is beyond count.

I constantly read that if you want it bad enough, you will stick to it, which I understand to a degree but at the same time you would think that how I have felt about myself would have made me take action earlier. I have gained 1½ stone over the last 18 months and feel disgusted with myself, I find excuses not to go places as I don't have anything to wear and currently hate clothes shopping. I refuse to buy a bigger size and am currently bursting out of my clothes. Yet despite refusing to do so, I have not stuck to anything all year and have continued to reach for everything that I know is making me feel like this.

Sometimes, I don't think feeling bad about yourself is enough - it takes something to just click and make you determined to do something about it. When I saw the 'Lose a stone for Christmas' Challenge I knew I had to do this, I knew I couldn't add to my current weight over Christmas - it would be unbearable. What also brought this home to me was when Nutracheck asked me for a photo and I realised I didn't have any of me - I looked through photos of the last few years of my life and see how I had always avoided being in those photos. Life is too precious to spend it existing and not living. That button clicked and switched on with me just days ago. As I am only on my 4th day of this new journey I have not yet weighed in to find out how I am doing - I only plan to do this weekly so I will have a better idea next week, but I'm feeling in control and determined.

The idea of this challenge is for me to commit to something - see something through - and know that how I will feel just a few weeks later, will help me continue to the end.

I have got out of my wardrobe a dress that I wore last Christmas for just a few hours as it was tight - it is looking at me every day and I am determined to be able to wear that by Christmas Day (all day lol).